Singing Contest! Yay!

Who sings Disturbed better?





I for one am down with the sickness of the second one but I'm not a sexually confused British man so what do I know?

Hey Jonathan Limpnicki, I have a Tumblr!

Ok, so I've got myself a Tumblr, but only because my internship requires me to do so... but I secretly enjoy it, don't tell anyone... seriously, don't be snitchin' or I'ma cut you.

Here's a link


It lacks that lengthy, bullshitty feel that you get from this blog, but it's still wicked ahsome

Do You Like Nature?

So I was surfing the interweb, catching gnarly digital waves, when I came across a wonderful new web series. It's a nature program that is extremely informative but also lighthearted and fun. You don't even have to be a nature buff to enjoy this series.

Take a look!



See, isn't it fun? And that Anton is extremely handsome.

I am very hungover so I'm going to take the easy way out and just post a video for you folks. I'm not going to attempt to be witty or cute I'm just going to post the video and go back to eating Cheez-its (White Chedder), drinking a 24 oz. can of Miller Light and watching Police Academy 3. Listen I know your bummed out because I'm not "bringing the funny"  but trust me once you watch this video reading my bullshit will forever become obsolete. 

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Jeremy Frederick Wilson

Nice Trip, See you next Autumn!

Wait thats not right... nonetheless (that's one word?) the Fall is coming boys and ghouls, and that means new TV shows! Don't get too excited five people reading my blog, most of the new shows sound like they were pitched by retarded 4 year olds and greenlit by autistic 7 year olds (not Aspergers autistic though, they would have better taste)

To celebrate the influx of new bullshitty television shows we're going to playz a game.

It's called... *drum roll on my desk*

WHICH SHOW IDEA DID I MAKE UP, SON?

RULES: I'm going to give you 4 show premises, one will be fake and the other three will be real. It your job to figure out which show I cleverly created in my own noggin.

Post your answer in the comments section and if you get it right you win a prize*!

Let's do it

Teen Wolf - A show based on the hit 1985 movie. Michael J. Fox will not be in it... no, I'm not going to make a joke. MJ Fox is too cool to feel my innappropiate internet wrath.

Melrose Place - "Uh Matt, that's not new", shut up, it's a remake. It's set to premiere this fall on the CW (which I believe stands for Cunt Wings, either that or CBS and WB... I'm pretty sure it's Cunt Wings though.

Don't Wake Daddy - A new TV show based on the classic board game. The premise of the show is very similar to the game, in that four kids do there best to walk around the house without waking their alcoholic father. The father will wear an old timey santa claus style pajama hat just like in the board game so get excited.

House Husbands of Hollywood - The Fox Reality Channel is set to premiere this totally real look at gold digging stay at home dads. I'm assuming it's them being filmed as they smoke some weed, jerk off, make a sandwich, jerk off, take a nap, jerk off, and then jerk off... that's what every guys does when they are home all day by themselves, if you disagree you're a lying sack.

Which one did I make up? I'll give you babydolls the answer tomorrow.


*I'm still not going to give anyone a prize

Scandalous Scandals!

Boobs!!! So new nude photos of Vanessa Hudgens have surfaced. For those of you who don't know who Vanessa Hudgens is, she's the girl who went to that high school where everyone sang and danced sporadically... I think it's in Michigan. She had a nude photo hit da web about 2 years ago and everyone peed and pooed about it and NOW THERE'S MORE!! I for one am appalled (my penis however is not). Anywho, it's a big stinky deal because her lawyer is saying that she took those pictures when she was 17 and nude 17 year old girls on the web is mad illegal. 

This is pretty big news but I have even bigger news. 

Underage nude pictures of Selena Gomez, who is a Disney tart similar to Vanessa, were hacked from her cell phone and put online.... and I have them! Here you go, perverts

Selena clothed

Selena's dirty underage nude photo...

Whoever hacked into Selena's phone and posted this photo should be in fucking Riker's. Selena Gomez isn't even 18 years old! She shouldn't be looked at as a sex symbol let alone be shown in the buck! Let's hope the hacker is found, strangled, chopped up, put in a suitcase,  and thrown in a dumpster. The person who does this should then call the police, report the hacker missing, then kill himself after he realizes he's not getting away with the murder. The guy who killed the hacker should also win the third season of VH1's I Love Money, which has yet to be aired.

If anyone can name the murder story I just alluded to through my bullshit story  I'll give you a prize*!

*I won't give you a prize

Everyone Needs To Hear This Band!

I just found the most dopest, illest, crunkest, funk-crustiest, alligator raping, emotionally shatastic, rip-ticklin', filth-frolicking, slippery, fun, delightful, toe sucking band ever!

Brokencyde!

Look at these guys. I liked these guys before I even heard their music. Just really look at them... Have you fully looked at them? 

Good, now you see what I'm talking about. Did you notice the coolest part about this picture? The one guy not wearing sunglasses has a shirt with sunglasses on it! A Shirt! With Sunglasses! 

oh wait... one of the sunglassed guys has a shirt with sunglasses as well... that takes away from the cool factor just a wee bit, but still these guys created cool, fucked it, fed it a lobster dinner, and then took it to see G-Force. 

Let's take a listen, shall we?

My ears are bleeding... bleeding with musical satisfaction

I'm not being sarcastic, that's not my style